How do you invite happiness anyway?
Recently I've been thinking about how to look at life 'through the lens of happiness'. I
got this idea from Peggy Phoenix Dubro who talks about looking at life 'through the lens of the Lattice'.
We most of us would have had the experience of being at a fairground and looking at ourselves
in a variety of distorting mirrors - and having a good laugh. Or putting on spectacles with
different coloured lenses, hence the expression, 'looking at the world through rose coloured glasses'.
We all have our own set of 'lenses' with which we view our worlds. Some of these we share with others and some are unique to us, perhaps formed from our interactions with our parents and early upbringing. Part of becoming more mature is the realization that we have choices about
these 'lenses'.
We can do this in various ways. For example, the Strength Deployment Inventory can help us
understand better what makes us feel good about ourselves and what sends us into conflict. As we learn about ourselves using this tool, we also learn some of the ways that others are different from us. From there, we can go on to look at the people around us slightly differently and begin to learn to adapt our responses so as to get more agreement and shared understanding and less stress and conflict. This is one way of 'inviting more happiness' into our lives at work and on the home front.
Another way is to spend a couple of minutes at the start of each day, thinking ahead 'through the lens of happiness' as to what we might anticipate that gives us a good feeling. For example, it might be the smell of fresh coffee brewing, or the smell of the morning after overnight rain; it might be hearing a friend's voice on the telephone and knowing we are thought of; it might be
accomplishing some small task we have set for the day or taking a walk or ...
Then, at the end of each day, to spend another couple of minutes reviewing the day 'through the lens of happiness'. No doubt there will be plenty that could have gone a great deal better. But does it really benefit us to dwell on these things unless it is to learn how to do it better the next time? Once we have learned, or made the effort to find some learning, then for our own happiness, we need to focus elsewhere on what does make us feel good about ourselves.
On newsletters
I was thrilled the other day when a friend told me how much she liked my tagline, Inviting Happiness. I say this not to boast, but to encourage others to stick
with what seems important to them. There are other people out there who will connect with what you stand for because at a deep level, we are all interconnected and inter-resonate with each other.
So if you put out a newsletter, or are thinking of putting out a newsletter, start on it now, even in a small way. Begin to make it a part of your lifestyle. After all, it is, isn't it? It's a sharing of some of the things that are important to you that you want others to also enjoy. It's the creation of a shared space for shared enjoyment of mutual values and pleasures.
I have one therapist friend who writes inspiringly of the beautiful environment in which she lives. Everytime I read her newsletters I feel myself transported to share
that space and enjoy the natural beauty of that part of the world.
I subscribe to other newsletters that share ideas about the internet and how that complex web of communication works for them as they do business on the internet. Without these people's input and insights, I would be missing many intriguing and motivating pieces of information.
As Peggy Phoenix Dubro likes to say, 'Each of us holds a piece of the truth'. I like to think that when we share that with others via a newsletter, that the larger truth becomes a little clearer, both for ourselves and for those who read our words.
Of course, not everyone is going to read our newsletter and those who read it are sometimes going to miss an issue or decide to delete it because life is just too busy for them at the time. So what?
And we are not always going to stream pearls of wisdom. In any case, I suspect we are not the best judges of our own work. I think the important thing for a successful newsletter is to be willing to share something that we ourselves have found to be useful or important or valuable.
Yesterday, I was listening to the radio as I was driving. I didn't manage to gather who was being interviewed, but she was obviously a well known singer who had made her mark on the world of cabaret as well as opera. She certainly had a fabulous voice and a way of conveying the emotion of a song. One of the things she shared on the program was that fundamentally she was very shy and
found it hard to be with strangers. But once on the stage, she was comfortable singing in a very personal way to thousands.
We are all different and find different ways to express our piece of the truth. And thank goodness for that.
Upcoming workshops
In July I will be running a series of Saturday and Sunday workshops in St Kilda - six in all, on 'Our Sacred Connections: Archetypes that Inform our Lives'. These will be based on Peggy Phoenix Dubro's EMF Balancing Technique, Phased IX-XII, Freedom in the Energy of Love. Visit workshop page for more information on this and other workshops and trainings, or Peggy's website for more information on the EMF Balancing Technique.
Quote
From Milton Erickson: "When you look back in your life, you'd like to see that you've left a trail of happiness behind you."
Let's invite more happiness - whatever this means to you -
Justus Lewis, PhD
