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Sometimes you have to jump start your happiness
Years ago – when Adam was a boy and the devil was a wee laddie (as they say in Scotland) – I had a temperamental car. When the engine was cold in winter you had to pull out the choke. Hopefully, this would juice up the system and the car would start. Years before that, I remember my parents having to exit the car, walk round to the front, insert a kind of lever into a hole in the front and attempt to start the engine by turning this lever. Those were the days ...
Sometimes happiness is a bit like that – we have to jump start it.
Sometimes we can jump start our happiness by simply doing something different – that's like pulling out the choke to get more juice. Other times we have to go the external route and rope in another person to help – that's like going round to the front of the car and turning the crank handle.
The other day I woke up feeling very flat. I did all the usual things I do in the morning when I first wake up to get in touch with my self and the day but that didn't seem to work. The car wouldn't start. I thought of some of the things I generally enjoy doing and pictured myself engaged in one of these activities. Still no good. The car was in an obstinate mood!
I thought of something that was on my 'To Do' list (always seems to be a mile long) and considered which would be the easiest to tackle – to have something, however minor, as an accomplishment for the day is better than nothing. Still no good.
Finally I decided to make a cup of coffee and some toast (at least that would be breakfast accomplished) while still continuing with my heart-centering activities. While waiting for the kettle to boil, I slipped some papers into my latest toy, a shredder. At last, action. The car started to move. I fired up my computer and started to write an article.
We all journey through times when life is difficult. We feel anxious, scared, upset, flat, depressed ... It's the human condition. There's nothing wrong with feeling these negative emotions. The problem arises when we get stuck in them.
One of the secrets to inviting more happiness into our lives is to find the ways that work for us to get unstuck and use them. I read recently that in his latter years the psycho-therapist, Milton Erickson, had to spend hours daily finding new ways to distract him from the chronic pain from childhood polio that shadowed his life. He always succeeded. According to his close students and family, he would first try all the methods that had been successful for him in the past. Then, if these did not work, he would invent something new to try.
What methods do you use to become unstuck? Here are three I use regularly.
Start with an activity that you usually enjoy. Often when we make a start on something we enjoy doing, our mood changes, inspiration comes and life starts to flow again. Many of the best selling authors reveal that they religiously write a certain number of words or write for a certain time each day, whether they like it or not. Once they get started, the words flow from their inner well of inspiration.
Start with something really easy that you know you want/need to do (this is where the much denigrated pencil sharpening activities labelled as procrastination can actually work to help put you in the mood. Of course, in today's world, it's more likely to be switching on the computer.) If you accomplish something, however small, that you know will improve your situation – even if it is only taking out the garbage – then that sense of accomplishment can blossom into another fruitful activity.
Do 'nothing'. The more we do, the more we can find ourselves blocking our own inner heart-centred wisdom. If we really believe that the answers are within – and if you're reading this newsletter you have at least toyed with this belief – then it makes sense to allow the answers a free passage to emerge. Sometimes that means putting aside our preconceptions about what today is going to be about and allowing the better higher side of ourselves a freer rein. In my experience, when I am prepared just to sit down and listen to my inner self, it is not long before the line unblocks and the flow starts again.
A few days ago, as I was sorting out books and folders from the past, I came across a little book by Richard Eyre titled Don't just do something: sit there. I opened the book at random this morning and the page heading said, 'STALE WORK IS RENEWED BY FRESH PLAY'. There was a story about a business man on a long weekend's holiday. The first day he spent worrying about missing phone calls, the second day he concluded that he had forgotten how to play, and the third day he concluded he could relearn his natural aptitude for play.
We all have a natural aptitude for play and this is an important element in our happiness. Children at play don't suffer from blocks. When one idea is exhausted, they move on to the next. We can do the same.
Take stock of your own level of happiness now. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, what is your score? What would it take to notch it up one? Or even a half?
What could you do today, right now, in the next few minutes, to raise your level of happiness? Is it something that inspires you that you enjoy, something really easy you need to get done anyway, or does your heart say to take time out to play, or just sit and do 'nothing'?
The answers are within.
Till next time,
My best to you,
Justus
PS. If you haven't read my f'r e e e-book, Inviting Happiness, you can download it here.
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